Life Rule #1
DON’T FEED THE DEMONS
Your ego IS going to be triggered. It IS going to try and convince you to do or to not do ‘a thing’. Your thoughts are going to tell you someone was wrong, or someone was mean, or someone doesn’t care. You’re going to tell yourself you should loose 10 pounds, or not eat the gummy bears, or save for your retirement.
Do. Not. Feed. The. Demons. The demon is your ego. Ignore it. Your thoughts are just thoughts. They are not true. Ever.
Life Rule #2
DON’T BUILD THE ARMY.
Know what we do when we feel defensive? We defend.
I call this natural reaction to perceived harm as “building the army” and it’s something we all do, all the time, though most of us are unaware. Have you noticed that if you’re irritated with someone, you’ll pinpoint why “My partner kept me up all night snoring, and I’m so annoyed.” And THEN, we find even more reasons to be annoyed……AND they leave their clothes on the floor, AND the tv is always on, and and and……
We build an army. We do this to support our initial complaint as if that weren’t already enough. And when we allow our thought-cycle to build an army (as we are conditioned to do by societal norms), then it’s real, real hard to solve the initial and instigating problem. And all of a sudden we demonize a person or experience.
So, when you’re irritated or provoked about something, remind yourself to NOT. BUILD. THE. ARMY. You don’t need to keep laying on the blame. Just take it one issue at a time.
And pay attention next time you’re having a moan about something. Are you building an army? Just observe and see.
Life Rule #3
THE TRUTH NEEDS NO DEFENSE
Anything you feel is your truth. No one can argue against how you feel. “I’m sad,” you say. “How can you be sad, you’ll find another job.” You don’t need to explain to anyone how you’re sad (or happy, or calm, or triggered or tired) - the truth needs no defense.
In meditation with another - someone you had an argument with, a boss who is offering critique, etc - how you feel simply IS. How you see simply IS. We trip ourselves up when we start talking about another, essentially enforcing a sense of self and forcing them to defend. If you only speak truth, no one can argue it. The trick, of course, is in the art of self-analysis to be sure, 100% absolutely SURE, that what you’re saying is truth.
Life Rule #4
BE CAREFUL OF THE COMPANY YOU KEEP.
Want to be happy, fun, and creative? Then you need to hang out with happy, fun, creative people. Hanging out with boring people means you’ll probably feel bored. Spending time with people who like to dance means you’ll probably go dancing. Socializing with complainers means you’ll probably start complaining. You see where this is going, yes?
Be. Vigilant. With. Your. Time. Time is one of your most valuable assets, and if you spend that time with uninspired people, I guarantee you your life will be uninspiring. We are all so easily influenced and negative energy is POWERFUL. It’s why we are attracted to scary movies and love a good drama. Drama is compelling - our brains were trained to believe this.
If you allow for and make space for negative, trash-talking, sad, struggling, victimized, people, you invite this energy into your life. It’s that simple. Where attention goes, energy flows. So keep your attention fixed on what it is you want to see in your life.
Life Rule #5
DON’T WASTE YOUR TRIGGERS
When you’re in a real bad place, feeling scared, stressed, unsure, confused, overwhelmed, UNCOMFORTABLE……use it. Don’t waste the trauma by not doubling down and digging deep, looking for a source of healing.
All trauma we experience is a past emotion coming back to be seen and healed. If we take the opportunity to heal it while it’s obvious and with us, we use trauma to move mountains.
Many people disembody, protect themselves in a shell, ‘clam up’ and shut down to stimuli and these are all beautiful defensive mechanisms we learned to keep us safe.
God is in all things, however, and we don’t need to be ‘safe’. We are always safe. So don’t waste the trauma - heal your pain and move onward to higher ground and wider perspectives. It is the ultimate act of self love to spend time looking at your triggers.